Member Contributor

Creating a Practice of Gratitude

by Shirin Peykar, LMFT

The practice of gratitude is a simple way to bring joy into our lives, especially during or after divorce. When we are dealing with emotional struggles and the chaos of our breakup, legalities of separation, financial strain, parenting, and grief, it’s easy to become entangled in all that is contributing to our unhappiness. Gratitude can be the avenue to lessen isolation and reconnect with yourself and others. It can be the daily reminder that you are enough during a time of insecurity.

The law of attraction states that what we focus on expands. When we give attention to all that we are thankful for, it invites even more to be grateful for. It tells the universe, “Bring me more of this!” You will feel bliss for no particular reason, eliminating the need to turn to external sources of happiness, for example a new relationship, alcohol/drugs, sex, shopping, and so on. Giving thanks reminds us of the positivity that surrounds us, making us more loving human beings at times it would be easy to resort to anger or bitterness.

HOW: The practice of gratitude is just that. Some days the appreciation will flow and other days you may need to be reminded of all that is within and around you to be grateful for. Here are a few ideas to begin your practice:

Take a gratitude walk. Set aside 20 minutes (or longer if you can) and walk in your neighborhood, through a park, around your office or somewhere in nature, advises the Chopra Center. Pay attention to everything you’re seeing, hearing, feeling, smelling and maybe even tasting, and see how many things you can find to feel grateful for.

Gratitude Jar: You will need a clear jar, paper, and a pen. Every day, write something that you are grateful for, an experience you enjoyed, or someone that brings happiness into your life. Feel free to go back to the basics: Your physical health, the lungs that allow you to breathe, your legs that allow you to walk and move, having a place to sleep, or even the fact that you have teeth to eat a meal. You can also include the relationships and connections you have with other people and animals or material comforts that make life easier. Focus on what you do have rather than what you may have lost as a result of your divorce.

21-day Gratitude Challenge: Every day for 21 days, let someone in your life know why you are grateful for them. Send them a message, an email, or text letting them what they bring to your life.

Centering Thought: “Today, I remember to be grateful” — Deepak Chopra.

Shirin Peykar, LMFT, is a Los Angeles based Psychotherapist specializing in Mindful Parenting, Young Adults, Women’s Issues, and Divorce. She is also the founder “Let’s Talk Divorce” Support Group. Visit her at www.TalkwithShirin.com.